Happy VD!

Happy VD! Valentine's Day, I mean.  Not venereal disease.  Though the two just may go hand-in-hand. Coincidence? I think not.

Another improbable coincidence...Dunkin Donuts has deemed this month "Chocolate Lover's Month."  Um, don't they know it's already Black History Month?

But back to VD ...  We got a box of the oddest candy hearts. they are NOT the freaky, novelty kind. they're the regular kind, like kids get.  but i kinda think some of these might be the candies pedophiles have when they say, "hey kid, want some candy?"

 Maybe you can help us with the interpretations, cuz the Free Range Females are kind of at a loss...

stripper heel (after the pimp beat her with it)? 

intercourse picture guide?

From period, with love?

I heart afterbirth?

Sorry honey, not tonight...?

i'm sure this is supposed to say "hey babe," but upon a quick glance, one might also read

 "hey rape" or "hey barf"

and for another mixed-message morsel: 

does this mean we're breaking up?? 

and finally... i don't think any message here is mixed.  this candy puts the D in Valentine's Day:

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!