Mother Nature: That Bitch is Crazy!

The Free Range Females present facts about funny food...

Sex. Trauma.

Hopefully this hasn't happened to you.  Please note, don't watch this with your children...unless you want to have the sex talk.

What Kids REALLY Need for School

a spoof of back-to-school commercials.  get ta shoppin'!

Wack in a good way!

We need to get out more!

Libraries are now offering what?!

Shampoosy!

Do you need this amazing new product? You just might...

Which Witch?

confusion among witches...

Happy VD!

Happy VD! Valentine's Day, I mean.  Not venereal disease.  Though the two just may go hand-in-hand. Coincidence? I think not.

Another improbable coincidence...Dunkin Donuts has deemed this month "Chocolate Lover's Month."  Um, don't they know it's already Black History Month?

But back to VD ...  We got a box of the oddest candy hearts. they are NOT the freaky, novelty kind. they're the regular kind, like kids get.  but i kinda think some of these might be the candies pedophiles have when they say, "hey kid, want some candy?"

 Maybe you can help us with the interpretations, cuz the Free Range Females are kind of at a loss...

stripper heel (after the pimp beat her with it)? 

intercourse picture guide?

From period, with love?

I heart afterbirth?

Sorry honey, not tonight...?

i'm sure this is supposed to say "hey babe," but upon a quick glance, one might also read

 "hey rape" or "hey barf"

and for another mixed-message morsel: 

does this mean we're breaking up?? 

and finally... i don't think any message here is mixed.  this candy puts the D in Valentine's Day:

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

The Real Rules of the Road

This is Elana's license photo:

This is mine:

i tried to do something fun.  like 2 or 3 times, actually.  Mr. DMV wasn't havin' it. so i went the mugshot route.  in retrospect, maybe it wasn't the best idea because when i get carded, i always feel the need to tell people, "the picture is a joke; i'm not really that bitchy." or something to that effect...

But I've realized it's a pretty good visual for how we feel about driving in general.  

Below, we've complied some examples of what signs and signals really mean in the driving world.

actually we find that people floor it whether or not the blinkee is an asshole. i think it's an automatic reflex...

Another automatic reflex phenomenon...

And remember... always, always, always give the courtesy wave! you know....the thank you acknowledgement of roadway niceties...or you may find yourself receiving the other roadway wave. (which can include one of many single- or multi-fingered gestures)

A Good Cause

Support our friend's charity :)

http://donthateonhaiti.org/

How This Contest Stole Our Lives

In short, we entered a contest that had a cash prize.  We won!  Then we got accused of cheating.  So we made a video of our experience.  It's pretty accurate.